Coming to Terms with the Baby You Got, with Victoria Wilson

After giving birth twice before, Victoria thought she had life with a newborn pretty much figured out. But when her third daughter was born fussy crying and frustrated, the thought running through Victoria’s mind was that something was off with this baby. What followed were weeks searching for that elusive one thing that would make everything good for her child, and not necessarily wanting to hear that maybe this is just who she was… Check it out.

To listen here, click the play button on the player above, or click the button below to listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Play.

What we talked about:

• Replenishing herself before going through another birth
• How pregnancy pushed her to get better
• This crazy fast birth!
• Being a doula vs. the person giving birth
• Knowing that vaginal checks mean nothing… and still being disappointed
• Catching her own baby!
• Meeting this unsettled and upset baby
• “Something is off with you…”
• “Will someone take my baby for a bit? Please!”
• Musings on what may have been “off” about her baby
• Trying to figure out that one thing…
• Maybe this is just who she is
• Improving what they could: addressing the lip and tongue ties with supportive therapies
• Adapting to her “dysregulated” baby
• How did they get through this?
• That moment when she realized they were over the hump
• The power of self-regulation and shifting expectations
• The power of independent baby movement

In bed with the girls

Resources and links to info mentioned on the show:

• EvidenceBasedBirth.com
• @tonguetiebabies Instagram account by Michelle Emanuel
• Herbal Perineal Spray, by Earth Mama
• Dr. Harvey Karp’s The Happiest Baby on the Block (book) (video) – includes the 5’s
• Expectful app for meditation (use this link to get a free month of Expectful)

Her adorable third baby

Related podcast episodes:

• Support Trumps Stubbornness, with Victoria Wilson (sharing her first two birth stories)
• Effects of Stress During Pregnancy, with Parijat Deshpande (high-risk pregnancy expert)
• Understanding & Calming Your Baby, with Carrie Contey
• Tongue and Lip Ties, with Dianne Cassidy
• Suck, Swallow and Breathe, with Alison Hazelbaker

Much needed walk in nature

Soaking up the sun

Gently held for a craniosacral therapy treatment

Loving the perineal spray!

Victoria and her husband, with baby #3

Courtesy of Victoria Wilson

About Victoria Wilson

Victoria Wilson CD(DONA) is grateful to be a doula and childbirth educator; she is passionate about birth work and improving maternity care in the United States. She is married to an incredibly supportive husband, mom to three spunky daughters, and deeply enjoys working in her doula practice. In 2018 she gratefully accepted a position with Evidence Based Birth® as Operations Director and has been loving making contributions to the maternity care field there. She probably drinks too much coffee and enjoys attempting DIY projects in her Kentucky home.

Learn more at motherwelldoula.com or join the conversation on Instagram (@motherwelldoula) or Facebook (Mother Well Doula Service)

Title music: “Vibe Ace” by Kevin MacLeod, from the Free Music Archive / CC BY (edited for length).

Sponsorship music: “Air Hockey Saloon” by Chris Zabriskie, from the Free Music Archive / CC BY (edited for length).