4 Super Simple Actions of Self Love

Self-love is not about indulging in a week-long spa holiday in Maui (although, yes please!). It’s about shining light on your strengths, supporting your whole self (mind, body and life-force), embracing your warts, and choosing to do things that resonate and make you feel good.

In a day that is shock-full of heart-shaped symbols, I encourage you to make some time for some meaningful self-love. Below are 4 simple ways to help you do that.

I’ll also walk the talk with you, and share what I’ve done to tune in to self-love in the last 24 hours.

1 – Schedule something just for you

It’s really easy to get caught up in the treadmill of routine, and daily tasks. Take one minute after you read this, to set aside at least an hour just for you. Schedule it for sometime in the next two weeks. You can decide and coordinate what you’ll do during that time later (or if you know already, fabulous), but set that hour aside now.
Then, during the last minute of that future just-for-you time, schedule your next hour to yourself. Get in the rhythm of always having something scheduled just for you.

What I did:
Every time I’ve styled my hair for the past few weeks, my first thought has been: “I need a haircut”. Then as soon as I leave the bathroom, the thought leaves my mind. Yesterday I scheduled said haircut.


2 – Embrace something about your physical appearance

Your body is not perfect, but it is incredibly amazing. The amount of intricately coordinated processes that happen without you actively needing to participate in them boggles the mind. Take one minute to write down whatever you love about your body. If its something that you didn’t use to love, but have fully embraced, recognize that as well.

What I did:
Back to the hair. I didn’t always love my hair. In fact, through my teens and early twenties, I constantly blowdried it, chemically straightened it several times, and kept it extremely short for many years. I wanted it to be straight and smooth, and I coveted that model-blonde color instead of my “plain” black.
Then I realized that the fault wasn’t with my hair, it was with the cultural impositions on my hair. I had been taught (by parents, friends, and media alike) to care for it like it was straight.
Do you know what happens with curls when you brush them?
You get an unmanageable frizz-fest. Once I realized that, it was a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best for MY hair, but it was worth it. I wholeheartedly love my curls, and now consider them a key element of my physical identity.


3 – Wear or style yourself in a way that makes you feel good

You know that necklace, or pair of shoes, or top that makes you feel powerful/beautiful/sexy/badass. Yeah. Wear that today.

What I did:
Apparently, it’s going to be all about the hair today… So we’ve established that I love my hair, but I also need a haircut. This means that, at the moment, the curls are getting to be unmanageable. I’ve been rocking a certain up-due that makes me feel badass, because I like the way it frames my face, has a little whimsy, and I feel it shows off my neck and the shape of the back of my head. I also like how it flips a circumstantial self-loathe (my hair is a current mess) into a strong self-love.


4 – Recognize your daily wins

I can’t tell you how many times, while at a gas station fueling up the car, I’ve marveled at the fact that we all have free access to an insanely flammable fluid, and that we all agree to put it in our vehicles instead of spilling it everywhere and lighting it ablaze. Think about it. (But not too much).
It may seem like living everyday is a ‘what else are you going to do?’ situation, but it’s not. Recognize that you ARE showing up, and trying to make the best choices for you and your family. Whatever your particular circumstances, acknowledge the fact that you are not choosing to eat donuts at every meal, or setting gas stations ablaze. Sure, there’s probably a gazillion things that you would like different – we all have that, but take a minute to acknowledge and celebrate your wins for today.
Look at what ended up in the DONE pile, not the TO DO pile.

What I did:
I recorded two podcast episodes and edited and posted this week’s one. I also got a homemade meal on the table (in under 30 minutes), helped my teenage daughter with homework in a way that didn’t cause a melt-down from either one of us, and got to bed at a reasonable hour. Oh, and I also scheduled that hair cut. #selflovewins

What did you do? Let me know below!


Much love and self love –



PS – Preparing for life with a new baby is also an immense act of self love! I’d love to help you with that. Please check out the resources I’ve created:

Postpartum Preparation Worksheet (free download)

Thrive With Your Newborn postpartum preparation classes (online course)




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